


Allies Against The World

by nowthatwecandoanythingwhatwillwedonow



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Boss requesting employee perform sex act on blow-up doll in public, Canon Compliant, Cross-posted at MTT, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jim thinks it's very cute, Palak Paneer, Pam is such a dorky dancer, Pam makin' a cardigan look gooooooood, Pranks, Revenge, Sexual Harassment, The Deckerd Account, fake firing, good buddies, not a bad day (part two), season 1 michael at his absolute worst, standing up for each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27030790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowthatwecandoanythingwhatwillwedonow/pseuds/nowthatwecandoanythingwhatwillwedonow
Summary: We fall in love and become allies against the world.Jim and Pam have been in an alliance for a very long time. It has nothing to do with downsizing (although there is chatting and giggling).(AKA a series of moments in which Jim and Pam stand up for each other, throughout Seasons 1 and 2.)
Relationships: Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	1. Vs. The World's Best Boss

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: So one afternoon while walking home from school, quirky tenth grader Becky Walters finds a television show she enjoys, and begins to post her own stories online using that show’s publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. that are the property of their respective owners, which she is in no way associated with, and does not intend to violate anyone’s copyright. And she becomes… “The Fanfic Writer.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pam and I are good buddies. I'm sort of Pam's go-to guy for her problems. You know with stuff like work, or uh, her fiancée Roy. Or, uh... nope, those are pretty much her only two problems.” – Jim Halpert, Hot Girl

Pam storms out of Michael’s office in tears and heads straight to the bathrooms. She doesn’t seem to notice that everyone left in the office is staring at her, so whatever happened must have been pretty bad. At least the cameras aren’t following.

(Jim had been heading out the door when he saw her get sucked into the Michael vortex. He’d stuck around in case she needed a rescue. This is maybe the first time he’s ever been happy he stayed late.)

She’s calmed herself enough to offer a placating smile when Phyllis tries to catch her eye on her return trip. But she’s still sniffly, still hunched over, still has color high in her cheeks and her arms folded against her chest. Phyllis clearly isn’t buying her act. Jim, for one, is ready to shed blood.

“You okay?” he asks as she passes by his desk.

She gives him the same fake smile Phyllis got. “Sure. Just a headache.”

She’s lying. And lying badly.

It stings more than it should.

Because Jim knows that her feelings aren’t his business, really. He _knows_ that.

He’s not her fiancée. She doesn’t tell him everything, because he’s not the one she’s sharing her life with.

He’s just a guy who entertains her from 8:00 to 5:00 Monday through Friday and the occasional weekend afternoon. Her world doesn’t revolve around him. She doesn’t think about him at night when she can’t sleep, wondering how his evening was or what he thought of that night’s episode of Veronica Mars, planning what she’ll say to him tomorrow. She’s not his and he’s not hers, it’s not his job to comfort or defend her. He just needs to accept it, he needs to get over it, he needs to grow up and move on, he needs to accept it, he needs to get over it, he need to…

The soft ding of an incoming IM derails his train of thought. He’d been so busy spiraling he’d sort of (completely) forgotten their very explicit agreement to try not to have private conversations when the documentary crew’s in earshot. The college kid they’re using as an assistant is lingering around and watching Pam carefully.

 **Receptionitis15:** he fucking fired me

There’s a lump in Jim’s throat that feels like it might suffocate him. It must be all over his face when he looks over to her, because she gives a quick little shake of her head ( _so cute_ ) and quickly types more.  
  
**Receptionitis15:** fake fired me **  
Receptionitis15:** as a joke  
**Receptionitis15:** in front of the cameras  
  
He’s relieved, but still. His jaw drops.

He would’ve thought even Michael knew that was too mean to be funny, especially when everyone knows there’s downsizing coming. As always, he’s given him too much credit. An 11-year-old in a grown man’s body.

 **JIM9334:** what  
**JIM9334:** the  
**JIM9334:** FUCK

Michael is still in his office, cheerfully babbling away to the cameras. He’s not even doing the staring-through-the-blinds thing he sometimes does when he knows he’s screwed up and is trying to figure out how to get out of it. Maybe he’s still in the denial phase. Or maybe he actually thinks that was okay.

 **Receptionitis15:** he thought it was hilaaaaaaaaaaaarious  
**JIM9334:** he is such a JACKASS

Pam looks like she’s about to lose it again. Jim starts reviewing his mental catalogue of excuses to get them out of the office, because there’s no way he’s going to sit here and let her feel embarrassed in front of Phyllis and Angela and _Dwight_ when it’s Michael Goddamn Scott who should be ashamed of himself. This late in the day, there aren’t a whole lot of options.

 **Receptionitis15:** it’s great  
**Receptionitis15:** the cameras have been here *one day* and they’ve already caught me crying  
**Receptionitis15:** looking forward to all of america watching that  
**Receptionitis15:** i guess i should be grateful it’s a fake firing and not him talking about my boobs

She must be really melting down if she’s bringing up her breasts in conversation. Even on IM that’s way over her usual line.

His heart aches. This is Michael. Michael, he’s supposed to be able to do something about.

 **Receptionitis15:** he’ll probably get to that eventually, he already talked about how much cuter i used to be

Jim starts to type back something flirty – just to give her something to smile about, distract her a little. He’s trying to decide if “see, i actually think you’re cuter now than when I got hired” is better than “now that’s silly, he wouldn’t have been able to function if you were any cuter” when his screen starts to fill up again.

 **Receptionitis15:** jim, i HATE this  
**Receptionitis15:** he’s been 100 times worse than usual today and it’s the FIRST DAY  
**Receptionitis15:** this is the worst possible thing you could ever do with michael  
**Receptionitis15:** why was jan okay with this??? **  
Receptionitis15:** i feel like they’re always in my face  
**Receptionitis15:** i don’t want them looking at me like that

God, he really wants to go over there and give her a hug, that’d be totally appropriate right now, and there’s no way he can do it with so many people still here. (Especially the production assistant. And especially Phyllis. And _especially_ Angela.)

Jim’s okay with the cameras, honestly. Maybe he’ll get fed up with them if they’re here long enough, but right now, it’s at least something different. Pranks and Pam help, but there’s no amount of Jello or flirting that could make selling paper anything other than mind-numbing. A documentary film crew chasing them around like they’re saving the rainforest instead of killing it, pulling them aside to interview them like they’re the President or something… that might just do the trick for a bit. And he’s never minded being the center of attention. He’s pretty pleased at how much they’d liked the stapler gag.

But Pam hates them. He knew she would. He didn’t need to look at her when Michael announced they were coming to know she’d have her “really? Todd Packer’s coming today?” face on. It’s going to be like splinters under her fingernails until these folks finally recognize this is all as pointless as it looks on the surface.

So of course Michael made it worse! He should’ve put money on it. Not that anyone would have bet against him.

He should’ve been ready for this. He may not be able to get her to come for drinks, but he can at least help her with this. He _has to._

 **JIM9334:** I’m sorry  
**JIM9334:** this is going to suck for a while  
**JIM9334:** but then they’ll be gone and things will be back to the normal amount of awful  
**JIM9334:** and America is never ever going to see that footage  
**JIM9334:** because I have a secret, Beesly  
**Receptionitis15:** what’s that?  
**JIM9334:** selling paper…  
**JIM9334:** is really  
**JIM9334:** really  
**JIM9334:** *really* boring

He catches her eye and puts a finger to his lips, just so she’ll know to keep this classified information between them.

 **JIM9334:** TELL NO ONE

That gets a real Pam smile, if a brief one. He feels something loosen in his chest.

 **Receptionitis15:** at least i’m almost free from the boredom  
**Receptionitis15:** a few more faxes to dole out and i can forget everything about this place until Monday  
**Receptionitis15:** i just need to shake it off a bit more  
**Receptionitis15:** i want to be okay before i see roy

Fuck.

This is how it is with her, always. He can go from top of the world to sucker-punched in an instant. She’s not his and he’s not hers, and it doesn’t matter that he’s the one she tells things to, because she only does it so that she doesn’t have to bother her fiancée with her thoughts and emotions. He needs to accept it, he needs to get over it, he needs to grow up and move on.

 **JIM9334:** okay  
**JIM9334:** why don’t you take another second, catch your breath  
**JIM9334:** i’ll pass out the rest of the faxes  
**Receptionitis15:** really?

And he’s not going to read anything into the “my hero” look on her face, because she’s about to forget everything about this place until Monday.

 **JIM9334:** really really  
**Receptionitis15:** you sure you can handle it?  
**Receptionitis15:** it’s a big job, halpert  
**Receptionitis15:** heaven help you if angela gets a fax meant for oscar  
**JIM9334:** i know  
**JIM9334:** but I think I’m ready  
**JIM9334:** I’ll do you proud, beesly  
**JIM9334:** go

She wrinkles her nose at him in thanks as she drops the faxes on his desk and heads back to the bathroom. She’s still feeling it, but he thinks that if Phyllis was still around she would’ve fooled her this time.

Michael’s office door opens, and he and the rest of the film crew pile out. Michael is of course still talking at them, missing every rolled eye and checked watch. He throws an arm around Jim, telling them he’s still there burning the midnight oil because he’s following Michael’s example, he’s taught Jim everything he knows! It takes everything in him not to make eye contact with the cameramen and make sure they know how ridiculous this all is.

The executive producer takes one for the team and tells Michael she wants to talk to him off-camera about a few things, and offers to walk him to his car. Somehow, this amps Michael up even more, and he’s gesturing so wildly the executive producer has to duck to keep from being smacked in the face as they head out.

If Michael’s given even the tiniest thought to what he did to Pam, he’s sure as hell not showing it. As soon as the door closes behind him and the producer, Jim rises to start passing out the faxes – and to grab that goddamn mug.

He’s already got it pretty well set by the time Pam emerges, but they’ve caught the attention of the camera crew again, who are still filming for who knows what reason. She’s stammering and awkward (and has remembered that he’s supposed to be off at a bar right now, which is just great), and he doesn’t know if he wants to punch Michael or the cameramen more.

Then Roy beeps at her, and he has a new name on top of the list.

He _beeps_ at her, like he’s her father, and she’s a little kid who won’t stop playing hopscotch so he can get to his important business meeting. Like he’s in a hurry to do anything but drink beer in front of the TV while Pam cooks his dinner, because apparently Roy’s the only one who just finished a long workday.

And she just… goes.

\---

He had needed to let off some steam right away, and his supplies were already on-hand. Since he couldn’t stick Michael’s beloved World’s Best Boss mug where he’d have liked to stick it, into the Jello it went.

But as he drives home, he decides it’s not enough.

It would be very Michael to think it’s funny when it happens to Dwight and an unforgivable insult when it happens to him, but probably he’ll get a kick out of it. He’ll think it means he’s one of the guys, and Jim’s just yanking his best friend’s chain. He’ll tell some story about some prank Todd Packer pulled once that he doesn’t realize was at his expense, and if anything Jim will have to resist feeling bad for him.

It’s not even close to enough punishment for treating Pam like she’s just… unimportant. Like her feelings don’t matter. Like she’s there to be used for whatever you’d like.

\---

Jim gets the best of both worlds on Monday morning. Michael clearly knows the Jelloed mug is meant to be a dig, but he pretends like it’s the most hilarious thing he’s ever seen. Pam silently golf-claps her approval from her desk, and he thinks for a minute about calling it even.

Then Michael makes a crack to Pam about how she might want to “downsize” for when the cameras come back, and laughs at the stricken look on her face.

And _then_ Pam describes her weekend at lunch without once mentioning Roy’s name.

That afternoon, Jan calls, and a lightbulb goes off in Jim’s head. He needs to wait for the right moment to get things started, and it might take a while to pay off… but if he makes it work, it’ll be the revenge Pam deserves.

The right moment comes fast. Michael decides to listen to a Chris Rock routine on his way into work and obviously has no choice but to share it with everyone. Jim exchanges a “here we go” look with Pam when he hears her greet Jan on that phone that afternoon.

Michael, naturally, has no idea what’s coming. He has Jan wait on hold while he calls Jim into his office to show him “how you deal with those big boys with the stuffed shirts up at corporate.” (He’s having trouble adjusting to having no one to perform for on the camera-less days. They’re on some weird schedule right now while they try to get more funding, it’s driving Pam crazy.)

Jan reams him. It’s brutal, and noticeably personal. Jim would try to leave the room if he could think of a way to do it that wouldn’t end with Michael revealing to Jan she’s on speakerphone. It’s bad enough that he briefly reconsiders again. He’d rather not have to live with the guilt of getting Michael fired, and that’s got to be a real risk, because Michael doesn’t seem to have any idea how pissed she is.

Then Michael makes this face to Jim that he always makes when he upsets someone and is convinced everyone knows they’re being unreasonable.

And Jim thinks of Pam, crossing her arms over her chest like she needs to protect herself.

So when Michael hangs up, Jim asks: “does she always talk to you like that when she thinks no one’s listening?”

Michael waves a hand and reclines in his chair like his job wasn’t just threatened. “Oh, you know, Jiminy, she’s got her set of corporate catchphrases she’s got to rattle off, that’s how they all operate… talk to me like what?”

“I don’t know, she just seemed…”

“What?”

“A little flirty. It was subtle, but…” He gives Michael what he hopes he’ll take as a ‘we’re both men of the world’ look.

“Nooooooo. Jan? Come on,” Michael says, but he leans back towards Jim. He wants to hear more. “Jan’s like one of those Barbie dolls where you take their clothes off and you think you’re gonna get to see something and there’s nothing there… you, uh, you really think?”

“I mean, she used the phrase ‘spanking,’ Michael. That’s not exactly standard corporate speak,” Jim gives him an eyebrow waggle he’d hate himself for under any other circumstance. “She kept talking about ‘discipline,’ she’d have to come down here and ‘whip you into shape if you didn’t behave yourself’…”

“I think she’s just throwing her weight around,” Michael says, not at all positive that he’s right.

“I don’t know, Michael,” Jim shrugs. “I mean, you know how women are sometimes. They don’t want to be embarrassed, so they drop some hints, send some signals. Subtle, indirect enough to be deniable, but trying to get you thinking about it, right? I mean, you’ve been there.”

Michael has dropped to his _serious business_ voice. “Right, right. So… that’s what you were picking up?”

“I was a little uncomfortable listening to it,” he says, honestly.

Jim lets a beat pass, and Michael tries to shake it off. “Nahhhh. I mean, she’s married, you know? I think she’s just… letting off some steam.” But he’s looking off to Jim’s right. Definitely thinking about it.

Jim rises to exit. His work here is almost done. “I’m just saying, watch out for that. You wouldn’t want to give her the impression you’re interested. Could be awkward.”

“Sure… sure. Well, good meeting, Jimbo. I hope you learned something from this.” It’s not as pompous as it should be.

“Absolutely,” Jim says.

Jim watches carefully from his desk. Michael starts filling out some paperwork… and pauses for a moment to stare off into space.

He gets back to work soon enough, but the seed has definitely taken root.

Let’s see how Michael likes being humiliated by _his_ boss.

\---

(Pam cracks up when he debriefs with her, and tells him he’s horrible. She can’t stop giggling for a solid half-hour. Whether or not Michael actually convinces himself Jan is sending him subtle messages that she’s into him, Jim still calls it a job well done.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prank *does* take a while to pay off, and when it does it turns out to be a lot more on Jan than on Michael. Poor Jan. There really is no coming back from having sex with Michael.
> 
> Anyway, mainly this is my attempt to answer three questions from the pilot: a) why are Jim and Pam so freakin’ awkward with each other?, b) why is Jim asking about her headache when he clearly knows SOMETHING that makes him prank Michael, since said prank is already in progress, and c) really, Jim? The Jello prank that Michael JUST thought was hilarious and will know is you?


	2. Vs. Your Deskmate Dwight, Who You Will Never Go Back to The Time Before You Met

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey Pam, by the way, it's great that you're dating. But when a new client calls, you just have to randomly assign them to a sales person. You can't base who gets new clients on who you're sleeping with that week, OK?” – Phyllis Lapin, Dunder Mifflin Infinity

The Monday after the diversity training fiasco, Pam has a hankering for Indian food.

“What can I say? Michael inspired me,” she says. “Actually, Kelly is my real inspiration.”

He’s just lost a quarter of his commission for the year. He desperately needs to cut back. But when he tries to pass, she says “oh” in this voice that he’s heard her use with Roy way too many times, and he ends up suggesting they get McDonald’s just to put a smile back on her face.

He probably shouldn’t be dropping money on fast food, either. But he’s done way stupider things than splurge on a Big Mac to make Pam happy.

\---

It’s one of the first nice days of spring, so they take their burgers to go and eat at a little park by the river. It’s a fantastic call, as far as Jim’s concerned – Pam intends to enjoy the sun, and she sheds her cardigan, unbuttons the top button of the shirt she’s wearing beneath and tilts her head back to take it in. He doesn’t get too many chances to unabashedly stare like this.

he’s warm in a way that has nothing to do with the weather. (He imagines the noises she’d make if he kissed the smooth skin of her throat.)

“So do you not like Indian?” she asks, still basking, eyes shut. “I don’t think I knew that.”

“No. I mean, who doesn’t like a nice googi-googi?” She snickers at that, and he takes a deep breath. _Suck it up, Halpert._ “I lost an account last week. Need to watch my spending a bit until I work out how I’m going to make up for it.”

“Because of one account?”

Jesus, this is embarrassing. Which is stupid, because it’s not like Pam cares if he’s good at his job, right?

“Well, it was about a quarter of my annual commission, so…”

She snaps to attention. “Deckerd bailed on you? Why? They love you over there.”

He’s suddenly extremely interested in the exact amount of ketchup he’s getting on his next French fry. “Turns out they just like me. What they _love_ is saving money, and Dwight gave them a deep discount.”

“Dwight,” she says flatly.

“Yeah, it was dumb. I was trying to get it done on the day we had the diversity thing, and I kept getting screwed up or pulled away partway through, and by the time I got to them signing on the dotted line Dwight had already closed it.”

“Dwight. Took 25% of your annual commission.”

“Yep. It’s gonna be a good year over at Schrute Farms. Bet Mose will be sporting the finest overalls and straw hat in all Lackawanna County come summer.”

“Dwight stole your sale. While you literally in the process of completing it.”

Jim has been lining up his remaining fries by size and trying desperately to think of a way to change the subject. So it’s taken him a moment to realize she’s absolutely furious.

“Yeah, I guess.”

She’s so _pretty_ when she’s angry. Not even when she’s angry, just when she’s intense about something. He can’t get enough of that. It’s way too rare a sight. (He can’t get enough of _her._ )

“He can’t _do_ that.”

“He can, apparently.”

“Jim, that is so screwed up.”

He sighs in resignation, although admittedly he’s a little less eager to segue to something else with her this amped up. And at least she’s focused on the Dwight part, not the money. “Look, I mess with him all the time. He was probably due for a win.”

“He didn’t spill syrup under your desk to attract ants, Halpert! He’s basically stealing money out of your pocket.”

“Sure, but that’s just because the ants’d be under his desk, too.”

“Jim,” she’s looking at him impatiently, but she’s speaking softly all of a sudden. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shrugs, because what’s he supposed to say? _“I don’t want you thinking of me as something other than a reliable provider, which is ridiculous, and honestly it wasn’t so bad, because that day you fell asleep on my shoulder and I could pretend for a few minutes that was a perfectly normal, everyday thing for you to do, and that’s all I’ve been thinking about. And now you’re outraged over me getting screwed. I should lose a big client every week.”_

“It’s just not a big deal, Beesly. I’ll figure out something. We might not be able to get you your palak paneer fix for a while, though. And I might actually have to work for a change, which is pretty terrifying.”

She smiles at that, but she’s not ready to let this go.

“We have to do something about this.”

“We will. I’ve been thinking about trying to convince him he’s committed murder.”

Pam chuckles. “That’s not what I had in mind, but… really, Jim? Murder? You think you’re that good?”

“I think Dwight’s that gullible.”

She looks at him skeptically, but she’s trying not to laugh again, so maybe they’re almost through the awkward part.

“Come on, Beesly. You know you want to hear what I’m planning. Besides, I’m going to need you to pull this off.”

She rolls her eyes. “Okay. Start from the top, leave out no details, and I’m warning you – I will try to pick this apart.”

“I expect nothing less.”

They spend the rest of lunch in increasingly animated strategizing for what will eventually become The Great Bloody Glove Caper, which she makes approximately 1200 times better. She doesn’t bring Deckerd up again. But he catches her with that gears-are-turning look in her eye enough to know it’s still on her mind.

He stops her right before they walk back into the office and tells her again that everything’s going to be fine.

“I know, Jim. I’m not worried about that part. You’re great at selling when you’re not too busy stealing my jelly beans to actually do it. It’s just… not right.”

He shrugs. “The paper business is cutthroat, Beesly. You know that better than anyone.”

God. He loves the way she laughs.

\---

It turns out it really is nothing to worry about. By the time the documentary crew packs up for the summer (because apparently they got the funding to come back in the fall somehow?), he’s well on his way to making up for what he’s lost.

Well, not _well_ on his way. And they’re still doing fast food over real restaurants when they leave the office for lunch. And replacing the Corolla has officially been delayed another year. But he’s definitely confident he’s going to be able to make up for it eventually, and that’s the important thing. All it’s taken is him putting his back into client contact for once, and an unexpected uptick in new business calls.

It doesn’t occur to him just how strange all the new business is until the week after the cameras leave, when he finds out there was nothing strange about it.

He’s just made Dunder Mifflin Scranton the official paper supplier of Bertelli & Grossman: Attorneys For The People when Dwight charges out of the breakroom and makes a beeline for Pam’s desk. And he’s _pissed._ Jim actually stands up in case he’s going to have to get between them, and briefly wonders how serious Dwight’s karate training really is.

“Pam, I have not received a _single client_ from new business calls since the beginning of April,” he bellows. “Stanley and Phyllis have just informed me that they’ve had no such issues! Why am I not getting my fair share of new business?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Dwight! I know you just picked up the Deckerd account, and I remember Jim saying that they take a lot of attention,” Pam says. Even without this misinformation, Jim would’ve been able to tell she’s up to something. Her innocent act is so well-practiced that she might as well have a halo and wings, but he can spot it a mile away.

Dwight seems taken aback, somehow. “Deckerd doesn’t… that doesn’t have anything to do with this! We distribute new clients evenly! Company policy is supposed to guarantee us all a fair shot at any new business!”

“Again, Dwight, I am _so_ sorry. I will definitely make sure you’re in the rotation. Honest mistake. I really thought you might be too busy with Deckerd, I was just trying to help you out. I wouldn’t want you to end up losing them.”

Jim finds himself looking around for a camera to raise an eyebrow at. That’s getting to be a real bad habit.

“But of course you’re absolutely right,” Pam says. “We _should_ be following company policy. Corporate knows what it’s doing when it hands these things down, after all.”

Dwight is rendered speechless by this for no reason that Jim can fathom, opening and shutting his mouth like a goldfish in a tank. “Well… that’s right. We should be. As assistant regional manager…”

“To the.”

“…I expect you to do so from now on. Don’t let it happen again.”

And he just… sits back down at his desk. Like Pam had won. He doesn’t even threaten to write her up.

Jim is totally lost as to what just happened. But he does know that Pam looks ridiculously pleased with herself.

**JIM9334:** uhhh  
 **JIM9334:** what was that about?  
 **Receptionitis15:** for the last couple of weeks every time his turn comes up in the rotation for new business calls I’ve been directing them to you  
 **Receptionitis15:** 😉

Jim has to read her message a few times before he fully grasps what she’s saying. Because if she’s saying what he thinks she’s saying, it’s one of the few things that even Michael wouldn’t be able to ignore Dwight freaking out about. And he’s seen World Series winners chug down champagne with less enthusiasm than Pam has eating her mixed-berry yogurt right now.

**JIM9334:** beesly  
 **JIM9334:** jesus  
 **JIM9334:** you could get fired for that

Pam gives him her patented “get ready to bow to my greatness” smirk.

**Receptionitis15:** i really can’t  
 **Receptionitis15:** for me to get fired, dwight would have to complain  
 **Receptionitis15:** if he complains, i explain why i started doing it  
 **Receptionitis15:** and corporate’s starting to crack down on poaching clients  
 **Receptionitis15:** turns out you can learn a lot if you read the memos before michael throws them out

Well. The smirk warned him. He is impressed. And pleased. And his heart is definitely beating a little faster.

**JIM9334:** and dwight knows that?  
 **Receptionitis15:** dwight knows that **  
Receptionitis15:** point  
 **Receptionitis15:** set  
 **Receptionitis15:** match  
 **Receptionitis15:** BEESLY

Jim turns to gawk at her. She responds with quite possibly the dorkiest version of a touchdown dance he’s ever seen – performed without leaving her chair, yogurt spoon waving from side to side above her head. He doubts he’ll ever forget it, but he still wishes for a second the cameras were here.

And just for a moment, he lets himself wonder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that came to me first. The rest of this story sorta spiraled from there.
> 
> Seriously, though. Jim’s pretty rough on Dwight, but it is worth noting that when Dwight wins one, he tends to win a) big and b) in ways with real life consequences, like risk of serious injury or loss of income. Does anything Jim does to Dwight for the rest of the series come close to “taking a quarter of Jim’s annual commission”?


	3. Vs. The King of Forwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where’s the line, Jan?”  
> “Do you need to see the video again, Michael?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very interested in your feedback on this very short chapter. Given the subject matter, I’m not sure I got the tone right on this.

The Midwest region shuttered the Fort Wayne office in August, and Oscar thinks Ypsilanti or Kalamazoo or maybe both will be gone by the end of the year. The customer service rep in Utica is on maternity leave, and instead of bringing in a temp they’re forwarding all their calls to Kelly (who is sooooooooooo mad about it). The travelling salesman out of Nashua is retiring, and they’re not planning on replacing him. Pam hears through the receptionist network that almost everyone is planning on laying off at least one employee by the end of next month.

So this is a time when a wise paper salesman would put their nose to the grindstone and prove their worth.

It’s a time to try to make their boss look good.

It’s not a time to trick their boss into making a fool out of himself – particularly since Michael does that plenty without any help.

It’s certainly not a time to trick their boss into making a fool out of himself in front of their boss’ boss, especially because for the last few months Jan has been scary even by her standards.

And it’s 100% not a time to trick their boss into making a fool out of himself in front of their boss’ boss when their boss’ boss can clearly see that wise paper salesman doing it.

Just not a smart career move. Even for someone who hates the idea that this is a career.

On the other hand, Michael _did_ ask Pam to make out with a blow-up doll in front of their entire office and a documentary film crew.

And Jim can’t forget the look on her face when he did.

And Jim also can’t forget that his reaction to the suggestion that Pam “act it out” was… not what he would have liked it to be.

( _It’s a quick flash, and entirely Michael’s fault for bringing up Catherine. Catherine, who definitely would’ve been Michael’s other target if she was still here. Catherine, pushing Pam back against the conference room door with one hand, whispering “relax” while she trails her other hand down Pam’s cheek, tilting Pam’s chin up towards her mouth…_

 _And by the time he mentally returned to the reality where his best friend was being publicly degraded, Toby had already stepped in and suggested that Michael’s questions might be answered by a corporate training video he happened to have already set up in the conference room. And Jim just has to live with the fact that he’d been too busy fantasizing about Pam to help her._ )

So. Jim baits Michael anyways.

It may not be the brightest thing he’s ever done, but he can see out of the corner of his eye that he _has_ left Pam satisfied and smiling.

Besides, he didn’t appreciate the suggestion that his new girlfriend cheat on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter notes will be about as long as this entire chapter. Whoops.
> 
> Catherine is the former Scranton branch employee who Michael says “definitely would have slept with him” in an exchange right before he asks Pam to perform a sexual act with a blow-up doll. Because six years before she ran through an airport without her shoes to say goodbye to him, Michael asked Pam to perform a sexual act with a blow-up doll.
> 
> Rewatching The Office in 2020, it kept hitting me that the Michael-Pam friendship would never make it on television today as is, because no one would write a victim of repeated sexual harassment being so affectionate towards her harasser. (I hope.) That’s kinda right on the surface. But it also bothers me how little Jim reacts to it. Rather than try to whitewash his flaws completely, I attempted to address it by having him at least notice how uncomfortable she is and tying his later, otherwise short-sighted actions to it. Not that “I was too busy objectifying you to help at the time and dealt with it by embarrassing our boss with something mostly unrelated” is much more than marginally better, but at least he’s acknowledging that it’s not okay and taking a professional risk to respond.
> 
> Interested in your feedback as to whether or not I hit this right, and on whether Jim’s fantasy was necessary to include/necessary to include in detail. He’s not a saint, and it doesn’t strike me as crazy that his first reaction to that scenario would be… ungentlemanly, but I don’t know if it’s undercutting the whole point to go into it like this.


End file.
